April 2010
38 posts
I have become (or maybe always was?) a facsimile of a window.
On Banksy
Banksy, a British graffiti artist, recently made the Time 100 most influential people in the world.
“Many people recoil at the thought of a guy in a hoodie with a spray-paint can and something to say. Others foam at the mouth when they see the same guy’s artwork auctioned off for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Banksy just laughs at all of it. He has a gift: an ability to make...
I’ve decided to begin a new segment in an...
On The Subject of Being A Man
howtotalktogirlsatparties:
Being a man is not about how you can tear people down and force your will upon them, but about conducting yourself with class, manners and an open mind. That is all.
word.
A Request
If anyone knows of some great folk music I would love to hear it.
Tumblr seems to be failing at interpreting code right now. I am getting lost in all the HTML. Keep posting though! It is fun to try and find what all of you are saying. Its like a scavenger hunt for people who will most likely end up 40 year old virgins.
“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray, corrupt their...”
– HOJATOLESLAM KAZEM SEDIGHI, an Iranian Muslim cleric, blaming women for a spate of recent temblors around the globe
I promise that most Muslims are not like this
The Weary Kind - Ryan Bingham
I suppose one could...
69 Posts
I’m mature and choose not to laugh
loooollllll
How the brain itches
Silently irritated
Try not to scratch
Hey you,
yeah you. I know that all three of you read my blog. Bring $25 tomorrow or I’ll smile at you. It is national ‘glare at people you appreciate’ day tomorrow. I would be concerned if I smiled at you.
Holiday
I am declaring tomorrow ‘glare at people you actually really appreciate’ day. So if you find that I’m glaring at you, glare back! yay fake holidays!
edit: tomorrow is earth day. damn. postpone your glares one day. if i glare at you tomorrow, be worried.
OH MY GOD
Today, while watching The Colbert Report I noticed something great. CRAIG ROBINSON was on promoting his new book A Game of Character. Craig is my close friend Avery’s father, which is about as close is I will ever be to achieving my personal goal of appearing on Colbert’s show. My life is nearly complete.
Please don't swing at me blindfolded
Today I was talking/walking with a friend in Winco’s parking lot when I got distracted and walked straight into the cart corral. I bumped off the steel frame, swore under my breath, and watched pieces of chocolate fall from my pocket. I felt like a piñata.
Call me Sylar
Today I repaired a watch all on my own. Not impressed yet? THIS IS THE WATCH
Okay its not. But the feat was just as impressive. If you don’t think so I’ll cut your head off with my finger and an angry glare.
The Real PF Changs
I don’t normally follow twitter accounts, but this one is special. This is Aziz Ansari posing as The Real PF Changs. He hasn’t been busted yet, so catch it while you can.
http://twitter.com/therealPFChangs
(whoo Aziz!)
TODAY WAS AWESOME :):):):):)
Please pardon my use of all-caps and excessive smiley faces. In order to understand how much I enjoyed today while reading this post, however, you must visualize me as a peppy fourteen year old girl who just made the cheerleading squad. You know, the girl who jumps up and down and talks in that high voice until it occurs to her that she needs to breathe. Yeah that’s me.
Today I woke up...
57
This is my 57th post. The number 57 is significant to some people.
“I never considered myself a maverick.”
– JOHN MCCAIN, rejecting a label on which he campaigned for the presidency in 2008
Time - Verbatim
In case you've ever wondered how I get my hair to...
www.formspring.me/zachrifai
Eavesdropping on Strangers in Ceramics
*Hear profanity and start to listen*
Girl with Lip Ring: Can you believe her? What a slut. She is new and wanted to fit in so she slept with (some guy, forgot the name)
Girl with Black Hair: I know, what a hore (I know its spelled 'whore', but I'm sure if this girl were writing this she would spell it 'hore')
Girl with Lip Ring: And then she tried to call me a slut for making out with two guys at once! Like WTF?! I'm still a virgin, so I can't be a slut.
Girl with Black Hair: Yeah she is such a bitch.
I'm starting to understand why girls hate school. God is it entertaining though.
FINALLY
I have been searching for a timepiece for so long and finally found my perfect match. Patek Philippe’s 5116g Calatrava is breathtaking. Next time I stumble upon $21,900 I’ll invest.
note: Email is French for ‘enamel dial’. This poses the question: are the French confused when we send them e-mail?
A Brief Conversation with Myself
*while walking alone in the hall
Zach's Brain: Hey Zach remember that lol from the other day?
Zach's Mouth: hahahah yeah
Zach's Brain: Shut the hell up dude you are making us sound insane
Zach's Mouth: Oh shit.
April 8th
7-930am: Wake up. Snooze three times. Get up. Shower. Do not eat breakfast. Drive to school. Cut off bus. Walk in sun. Turn on Ipod. Listen to thirty seconds. Hum tune. Enter classroom. Lose focus. Notice heat. Begin to itch. Fail quiz. Fail to remember last time failing a quiz was significant. Leave.
930-1107am: Stand in hall. Wait for company. Check locker periodically to avoid lonely...
A photo by the great sculptor, photographer, and environmentalist, Andy Goldsworthy.
:(
I would be blogging more but my personal computer recently kicked the bucket, and I refuse to buy a macbook until the new generation of them comes out later this month. Until then I will do my best to entertain you with words.
Win and more win
An excerpt from Bill Maher
While I don’t always agree with him, Bill Maher makes me laugh. This passage from Real Time made me laugh too. If you read nothing else, check out the part about Tiger Woods and the Democrats.
*New Rule: You can’t use the statement “there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year” as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here’s a...
Ann Arbor
7am: Wake up and check email. Open message from University of Michigan’s financial aid office. Find out I am receiving zero aid. Think about implications. Lose appetite. Skip breakfast. Ponder cancelling trip. Leave for airport.
11am: Get to airport. Realize I left my license in jacket I wore to fugitive. Luckily Mom brought passports for a domestic flight. Love maternal instinct. Board...
